The only thing more cheesy than seeing Barbara
Walters tell "The View" audience on Tuesday about how her dog talks to
her was Wednesday's "Rock Star" finale. (No, really, her doggy Cha Cha
told Baba, or so she said, "I wuv you." I am not making this up. Go to YouTube.com if you don't believe me.)
I don't mean to diss the singers; they were
good for the most part, and I particularly thought Toby was great. But
over the last few months, I just could not take this show seriously
because the Supernova band is just such a laughable bunch of hacks.
Yes, I know they can play their instruments, yada yada. But can you
really say any of these guys is a credible font of creativity? I think
not.
Every time Gilby Clarke or Jason Newsted would
wax philosophical about songwriting and vocal performance, I just had
to giggle. I mean, who are these guys to dispense advice on… anything?
Clarke's most famous for being fired from Guns
n' Roses, and Newsted was in Metallica… for a while. I just kept coming
back to the question -- who cares what these guys think? They seemed
well-meaning enough, but if we're talking about truly rocking, I'd much
rather go see the House Band (which is touring with
Supernova later this year - and that would be the only reason to
go to one of their concerts).
The funniest moment of Wednesday night was when
Clarke offered to produce Dilana Robichaux's album after she wasn't
picked as the band's singer. Run, Dilana, run away!
It's bad enough that Lukas Rossi has to be
saddled with the title of Supernova frontman. They'll no doubt put out
one crappy album and then disband (but first, as Newsted pointed out,
they're going to rock Albany! On tour! Rock on!). Boy, that's
a great start to a career. As a footnote.
But Dilana (and Lukas too, he of the excessive
eye glitter) deserves better than being associated with the collection
of has-beens on this season of "Rock Star." Oh, and I haven't forgotten
Tommy Lee. Who could forget the fact that week after week, when it came
to the female contestants, he mainly rated the hotness of their looks?
"Why are you wearing clothes at all?" seemed to be his ultimate
assessment of their vocal stylings, when you read between the lines.
Ugh.
But duuude, Dave Navarro made it all
worthwhile. How many ways could he find to say the sentence, "Dude, you
rocked that!" So many, really. And on Wednesday, he provided the
night’s most "Spinal Tap" moment when at the end, he yelled, "I want to
be entertained up in this [expletive]! I gots to get entertained up in
this [expletive]!"
Well, despite the pretty good singing on
display this season, I don't think "Rock Star" was worthwhile overall.
Because frankly, the prospect of a Supernova concert excites me about
as much as a tax audit.
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